The New Weezer Album Doesn't Suck!

There are two types of Weezer fans. There are fans who love "Beverly Hills" and "Hash Pipe." Then there are fans who've been anxiously awaiting some glorious return of an old-school-style Weezer album. Yes I love Weezer, but I only love their 90s material.
1994's "(The Blue Album)" was a perfect power pop record that blended 70s guitar heroism with 90s nerd culture. Its follow-up "Pinkerton" was an uncomfortably personal, sloppy, hormone-driven, artistic triumph. Since then the band has released a string of forgettable albums. However, there were sparks of hope for improvement. Singles "Island In The Sun," "Pork & Beans" and "Memories" are great. Gasp! Is "Everything Will Be Alright In The End" finally Weezer's return to form?
Spoiler; It isn't. However, this album has one thing going for it that Weezer hasn't been able say for themselves in over 15 years. It doesn't suck! As the album title itself states, it's "alright."
I came in with low expectations considering the lead single "Back To The Shack." I like the lyric Rivers Cuomo sings about making up with his dad, but the riff and the guitar fills on here are corny. Cuomo talks about how he's reinvented his life alongside some AC/DC accompaniment. I don't dig it.
The album's weakest moments are "Lonely Girl' and "Go Away." The first has some bland "copy+paste" lyrics about-- well, a lonely girl. The latter has guest vocals from indie pop group Best Coast's Bethany Cosentino. One might think this would work to Weezer's advantage. It could have been, but the song itself unfortunately uneventful. Sure these songs are weak. But they aren't terrible!
Cuomo is apparently tired of critical people like myself. "I'm not a Happy Meal," he says on "I've Had It Up To Here," the album's middle finger to all the haters. Taylor Swift says "Shake It Off." Weezer on the other hand is just pissed off. Opener "Ain't Got Nobody" refers somewhat to relationships, but mostly to fans. "Eulogy For A Rock Band" is a salute to the fading of anybody's favorite rockers. Could they possibly be singing about themselves? Hmm.
"Everything Will Be Alright In The End" has some surprises too. Referencing Rosetta Stone in its chorus, "Da Vinci" is the band's catchiest love song in years. The album ends with "The Futurescope Trilogy," a song purposely made so epic, you can't take it seriously. There are some other epic song structures scattered throughout the album. I must warn you, most of these songs are lyrically stupid. "Foolish Father" is the best of the epic tracks. I'm legitimately curious who he's singing about here.
The album's an enjoyable listen aside from all its stupid, dorky gimmicks. For the most part, you can tell they're really trying. This is far from their best, but it's worthy of a smile. "Everything Will Be Alright In The End" is alright in the end.
MY RATING: 7/10

Album reviews: What's hot and what's not

Atop the U.S. Billboard Album Chart lies "Cheek To Cheek," a duet album by Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga. The album cover shows the 88-year-old crooner with the young pop diva, both of their faces obliterated in make-up. That's what "the top" looks like.This week's top 20 albums in the U.S. is full of artists familiar with the territory: Maroon 5, Kenny Chesney, even Barbara Streisand for crying out loud. Yet there are also some newer names squeezed in there. Some of these albums are by artists on the rise, and for good reason. Some of this material is just reprocessed garbage by artists still riding on past successes. It might be hard to tell the difference between the two. Before you go out and spend money on the stuff people are talking about, I'm here to let you know the difference: what's hot and what's not.
Ariana Grande, "My Everything" — Grande gained popularity as an actress for cheesy Nickelodeon sitcoms before she was ever on the radio. How could she possibly get people to take her seriously? Simple, by writing good music. "My Everything" offers some surprisingly mature pop material. It's the ambition of Rihanna coming from someone who just yesterday was in corny photo shoots with One Direction; a quick leap from "Tiger Beat" to "Rolling Stone." You go, girl! HOT
Maroon 5, "V" — Maroon 5 is old. Definitely not as ancient as some other folks getting album sales this week (Tony Bennett, Barbara Streisand, John Mellencamp and Leonard Cohen). Maroon 5 have only been making records for 12 years. But on "V," they finally sound old. The instrumentation is watered down. The once soulful voice of Adam Levine is now the imitation of a guy singing falsetto with cotton stuck in his left cheek. Sexiest man alive? Apparently. Sexiest music around? Not at all. NOT

alt-J, "This Is All Yours" — These days, alt-J is making waves in the alternative music world. If you classify their music as "weird," you should spend less time on Tinder and more time Googling random word combos like "stereo-lab" or "radio-head." If you classify their music as "cool," you should try listening to "This Is All Yours" while wearing sunglasses. It doesn't fit. Sorry, alt-J. I honestly think you target your music for people who make iTunes playlists with titles like "I Am So Hipster LOL." NOT
Soundtrack, "Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1" — I could write 10,000 words on how uncool the Billboard Top 20 is this week, but I want you all to consider the "Guardians of the Galaxy" soundtrack. It's a compilation consisting mostly of hits from the early 1970s. This album was No. 1 in the U.S. for two weeks! I look at my Spotify feed and people are listening to Elvin Bishop's "Fooled Around and Fell in Love" or Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love." It's all because of some oddball action movie. It's a fun, proper escape from your infectious car radio. Now is a great time to take a break from modern pop music. HOT
I'd like to remind everybody these are all just albums ranked highly on the Billboard chart. If you grow tired of a world where Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga's faces are staring at you from the top of a hill, feel free to escape and explore. There are excellent releases this week from Caribou, Iceage and Flying Lotus you should try out. As far as radio airplay goes, business is as run-of-the-mill as ever.